Previously I talked about starting the habit of automatic drawing. To be completely honest, this “habit” didn’t last long. It felt too foreign. It was hard. I didn’t like the outcome. It started to stress me out.

So I quit.
(For reference sake, I don’t quit things easily. It goes against my nature.)
I quit this however for almost six months. When I picked up the pencil again instead of “trying” automatic drawing I reminded myself of what enjoyed most about drawing when I was a kid. I used to lose myself in shading. So I started anew.
I’ve been at it for a couple of months now. I’m not religious about it though. I do it when I feel like doing it. It’s WAY more enjoyable now. Especially because I’m allowing myself to NOT be religious about it. I have always had such a militaristic dedication when I land on a goal. I’m not your cliche artistic type when it comes to that.

So even that by itself is something new.

Add to that, lately my paint brush is lighter having shed a few shackles. I don’t know if this is a result but it feels related somehow. I find myself relishing the sensation of pushing paint around; the juiciness of it.

I am meeting my new ideas with less trepidation. I’m less afraid of making mistakes. My thoughts dance a little harder which brings me full circle to the value of starting something new.

. . . . next . . . throwing knives! . . . ?